He isn’t out to sabotage me

So my bf likes to bring me beer, bourbon, cookies, ice cream and potato chips as a sign of affection. Add to that the chicken, shrimp and po’boy restaurant that he frequents and the McD’s he buys for his kids every Friday. I often can’t help but think that all he wants to do is sabotage my desired lifestyle. It’s difficult to remember the good things: he is learning how to bring home low-fat options and he doesn’t complain that we eat whole wheat bread and pasta. Oh, and he always makes sure to serve a veggie when he makes dinner which he knows to pile on my plate. Good boy!!

Now, I can add to this list! Quick history, he’s been a complainer since I’ve known him. The only time he didn’t complain so much about being tired and emotionally drained from work and the kids was when he was in a position at work that allowed him to go to their gym 3 days a week. It’s had to have been at least 2 years since then. He tried yoga with me once a few months back, but that was just once. This man needs to work out. He’s not in bad shape, but working out makes an extreme difference in his overall mindset. Those of us working hard on the JEC know how much of a boost this brings.

Okay, so last week I got really excited when our satellite provider started a preview of Discovery Health. I browsed through the programs and saw Gilad! Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s when I was in peak physical form it was because of him! I was in shape from soccer, but he helped keep me toned all over. Bodies in Motion was a staple in our house for me, my mother and my sister – our booties were sore on a regular basis. So I DVR’d his programs and lo and behold, by Saturday DBF wanted to do them with me. He tried it and the moves were simple enough without being hokey aerobics moves that he begged me do it again on Sunday! So it seems I can now add him as a workout partner. I can’t drag him to salsa with me because we lack a babysitter but I’ll keep my fingers crossed for when the kids are a little older. This makes me so so so so happy! Even with my sore behind.

Gearing up for the weekend

I am trying to psych myself up for this weekend. They are typically the days where most of my weekly points are used up without mercy. This has got to change and I’m the only person who can change it, right? I need to reread previous tips on how to handle the “off-days”.  Regroup and all.

This weekend already didn’t start out well. My final day of relaxation didn’t happen at all. Last night began an annoying cough that triggered each time I laid down. So I did not get much sleep at all. I think I finally got some shut eye about 5:30, just to get up at 7 to get the kids ready for school. My adjusted plan was to relax and nap through the day so I can get over this thing. That didn’t work either since the 5-year-old diva decided to have a huge screaming fit at school. Huge enough that I had to pick her up after lunch. Grrr. If she was my daughter, let me tell you what I’d do… (muttermuttermutter)… What I’m really upset about is that this served as a major trigger. I picked her up and drove right to McDonald’s and bought myself a double quarter pounder. No, the single was not good enough for me. Oh no. I was going to make someone pay. Unfortunately that someone was me. [Boo me!] How embarrassing. There it is, out there for the world to see.

To deviate away from that awful few hours of my day, I did show some backbone tonight. My bf always brings dinner home on Fridays and it’s never a place with healthy choices. This time I told him not to buy anything separate for me. Instead, I used some of the kid’s chicken strips and put it on a salad. [Yay me!]

I have more to say but I’ll save it for tomorrow. I’m headed to the fridge for a cold one. Yes, it’s a light one.

Weekly roundup

Things went great for my first week back on program. I made a promise to myself to take baby steps because that’s what worked for me before and has kept me from gaining back the full 15 lbs. So far so good. Even with TOM’s visit and scary during-the-week WI’s I am down 1.4 lb. Yes!

Food: I’m still working on eating lower calorie meals. It seems like I have one painfully large meal each day and then it’s a struggle to keep points down. That’s because hunger is still taking it’s toll. I really hope it subsides some this week when I re-introduce snacking throughout the day.

Exercise: So far so good. JES is keeping me on track.

Motivation: My motivation for the week was during The Biggest Loser: Couples. When the Brown team faced the truth about how much food they were eating, they turned to each other with tears in their eyes and said, “We’re killing ourselves.” That immediately made me think about all the health problems my mother and father have been going through the past few years. We can’t escape every problem (my mom has an immune disorder), but there are so many that we can escape and/or keep under control by living healthier lifestyles. While smaller clothes and male attention can serve as great motivation, the real reason why I cheer for TBL contestants and weight-loss bloggers is that I can’t help but care about their health and well-being. We deserve to live our lives without depending on pills and shots to get us through another day. We all deserve to live.

Tuesday update

Quite a boring day. Not exciting, I’m sorry.

Goal: 26 pts

Breakfast	5
Special K w/ skim milk
Frozen raspberries
Midday	8.5
Leftover pasta and salad w/ balsamic dressing
Evening	11
Digiorno spinach and mushroom pizza
Snacks	3
94% FF popcorn
Tortilla chips
Daily food points used	26
Activity	0
Weekly food points remaining	19.5

Silence

Finally I had a day of peace. The kids are back in school and I have this week off before the new semester. It was so quiet I didn’t know what to do with myself. Most of the day, I confess, was spent on my butt watching daytime TV and playing video games. I did put in 30 minutes straight on DDR, sweating up a storm. Tomorrow I hope to spend more time getting errands finished and the office organized.

Monday, January 07, 2008 (Goal: 26 pts)

Breakfast	5
Special K w/ skim milk
Frozen raspberries
Midday	11.5
Taco tortilla pizza
Evening	9
Whole wheat pasta w/ marinara sauce
5 small meatballs
Snacks	3
Spinach & Artichoke dip on sourdough bread
Daily food points used	27
Activity	2
DDR
Weekly food points remaining	19.5

Weekend food/activity

Just charts for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Friday, January 04, 2008 (Goal: 26 pts) Breakfast 5 Special K w/ skim milk Large banana Midday 8 Taco Salad 2 frozen meatballs (temptation) Evening 15 10-pc McNuggets 1/2 large McD’s fries Snacks 4 2 rum & cokes (over-iced) Daily food points used 32 Activity 4 Dancing (salsa, merengue) Weekly food points remaining 25

Saturday, January 05, 2008 (Goal: 26 pts) Breakfast 5.5 2 pancakes Large banana Midday 5 Turkey frank on ww-bun Pringles Evening 19.5 2 Johnsonville Brats on ww-bun (ouchies!) Fries Snacks 2 Chocolate chip cookie Daily food points used 32 Activity 2 Housework Weekly food points remaining 21

Sunday, January 06, 2008 (Goal: 26 pts) Breakfast 10 2 pancakes Sausage Scrambled egg w/ cheese Midday 9 Johnsonville brat on ww-bun Spinach salad w/ turkey pepperoni, part-skim mozzarella, tomatoes, mushrooms Evening 5.5 Chicken breast Whole grain brown rice green beans Snacks 5 Shiner Bock Krunchers tortilla chips Daily food points used 29.5 Activity 2 Yard work Weekly food points remaining 19.5

Calgon take me away

I can’t wait until the kids start school next week. They are driving me nutso! They are loud, obnoxious, messy and … well … kids. I love them and all but am dying for the break. They are finally enrolled in pre-school and after-school care starting Monday. That gives me a whole week to prepare my mind and body for the new semester. I’m seriously counting the hours!

It looks like Campus Recreation has a good line-up of wellness classes this semester… I think I need one that does some strengthening and toning because that’s the hardest to motivate myself to do at home Cardio doesn’t present as much of a problem since I do the elliptical while watching TV, dance around while doing housework and play DDR (even though I suck). My flabby legs and arms need some toughening up!

Thursday, January 03, 2008 (Goal: 26 pts)

Breakfast	5
Special K w/ skim milk
Large banana
Midday	11.5
Mushroom & swiss burger
Mac & Cheese nacho-style
Evening	9.5
Lean ground beef tacos
Sauteed potatoes w/ tomatoes & onions
Snacks	0
Daily food points used	26
Activity	0
Weekly food points remaining	35

Back to WWO

One of my Christmas presents to myself was a renewed subscription to Weight Watchers Online. It was more time-consuming than I thought to do the point calculations on my own, I just couldn’t keep it up. I honestly want to attend meetings because they serve as additional motivation and help me focus on my goals. Maybe I’ll return this summer when I am actually making money and not so much of a broke college student.

I ate so much over the holidays that now it feels like I am starving myself. I had to hold myself back from the munching and nibbling I was tempted to do every time I entered the kitchen today. A cashew here, a mushroom there… at least it was only 4 cashews and 2 mushrooms… I’m telling you, I had to hold myself back – an ice cream cone and a piece of fudge were each in my hands before the angel on my right shoulder won over the devil on my left. So close. Can I blame it on the Cookie Crisps I gave into this morning? I think they kick-started my sweet tooth.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008 (Goal: 26 pts)

Breakfast	5
Cookie crisps w/ skim milk
Large banana
Midday	5
Turkey hot dog w/ whole wheat bread
Salad w/ Turkey Pepperoni and balsamic vinaigrette
Evening	10
4 oz salmon teriyaki
French cut green beans
1/2 Twice-Baked Potato
Snacks	8
Spinach Artichoke Dip on sourdough bread
4 dry-roasted cashews
Chocolate VitaMuffin
Daily food points used	28
Activity	2
25 min DDR (moderate level)
Weekly food points remaining	35

Happy New Year!

I am starting my new year at 201.4 after a 5 lb gain in a month and a half. But let’s not dwell on the negative, right? I’ve learned a lot this year and am ready to add to that now.

1) My weight loss goal is attainable. The weight so far didn’t come off quickly but it is not hard to maintain at all. I am always encouraged when reading my favorite blogs to see people who have been successful losing and maintaining. I know it will always be a struggle for me, but so far I am enjoying the small results.

2) I have to (HAVE TO) exercise. When I slack off on the exercise it doesn’t matter how many points I eat, I just do not lose much that week. So my new commitment is to find some exercise that I can do for a lifetime. Weight first started adding on when I stopped playing soccer – so it only makes sense that my body needs something similar to keep it all off.

3) Water is necessary. This is how I’m kick-starting my year: I bought myself a 32oz water bottle that I will make sure to fill twice a day. Towards the end of 2007 I noticed how lethargic I felt, leading me to not want to exercise. I went back to my logs and noticed that it pinpoints exactly when I stopped drinking my daily water intake on a consistent basis. Check.

4) Blog, blog, blog. It doesn’t matter who does or doesn’t visit my page. Blogging holds my personal accountability out in the open air. When I’m not blogging, it usually means I am too wrapped up in other things or ashamed of my recent eating habits. That has to stop. If I really mean to lose the weight, I need to keep myself aware of my habits at all times, good and bad. That leads to #5…

5) Don’t be ashamed. It’s okay if all I have to say about the day is that it sucked. I’m allowed to have those days, a lot of those days, as long as I learn from them. Like the day I allowed my BF to drag me out to eat for all 3 meals. I didn’t have to say yes. I could have made good choices at those restaurants. I could have chosen to not clean my plate… etc. I need to write when that happens more so I can see the bad habits right smack in my face. Call it a wake-up call.

6) Don’t compare. This is hardest for me. I’m always reading blogs and stop reading them right away because the person is so successful. They lose those first 10 lbs in 2 months and add on from there… Boy do I wish I was right there with them. I get insanely jealous. However, I need to stop comparing myself. Maybe they were more motivated. Maybe they have better metabolism. Maybe they are good at sticking to schedules and limitations (which is like pulling teeth for me). There are so many things I can learn from those bloggers if I learn to stop comparing myself to them.

Breakfast	banana
	Special K w/ skim milk
Lunch	Turkey burger w/ avocado and light mayo
	Salad w/ FF Ranch Dressing, egg + lotsa veggies
Dinner	Whole wheat pizza:
	Turkey pepperoni, mushrooms
	2% Mozzarella
Misc	Chips & homemade salsa
	Shiner Bock

Normal days

It’s still the holiday season and there won’t be a “break” from the noisy kids for another week, yet everything feels back to normal. No more balancing road trips, Christmas presents and decorations on top of regular daily activities. Finally there is some breathing room.

I’ve never been much of a New Year’s resolution type of person because we all know how long they typically last (not long at all). So the main thing I am focusing on is reflection. It is the first year in over seven that I weigh less than I did the year before. Those other years I was either gaining or staying the same. Funny thing is that I don’t know how much less I weigh yet. I’ve avoided the scale for about three or four weeks now, lost count. Don’t want to think about the weight I gained this month. Just want to compare it to what I weighed last year and continue from there.

Tonight the bf and I will have a nicer dinner than usual: Steak, twice-baked potatoes and veggies with some wine. I also made a low-fat artichoke and spinach dip though I might be the only one that likes it. I’ve been dying for some since I saw someone eating it at a restaurant last week but held my horses until I could control the ingredients myself.

Breakfast	banana
	Special K w/ skim milk
Lunch	Turkey frank w/ whole wheat bun
	Salad w/ FF Ranch Dressing and cheese
Dinner	4oz Steak
	Twice-baked potato
	Steamed broccoli
Misc	Spinach & artichoke dip
	Boule bread (2 small pieces)